Writer's Block

I lay my head on the cold ground
my body pressed against the wall
and look for relief
from my thoughts
from the world.

The wall is unrelenting.

How could I have built it this big this time
without even realizing?

I tear away a brick
but there is another
standing right behind it
thick
and tall
there is no getting around this wall
no way through
until I can find
what the bricks are made of.

What is the composition of my writer’s block
and will these words be the key to unlock it?

Laying my head against the wall
absorbing the feelings
I come to the realization that the wall is similar
to the one I have constructed
between you and I
though I could not see it.

A self made prison
a locked room in my head
to punish me for my sins.

I have laid too much at your feet
expecting much of you
not realizing the burden
I tried to make you shoulder.

A friendship is not made for such.

Forgive me.

Perhaps the knowledge of what I have done
to you
to us
has built this wall
between me and my creativity as well.

So connected to my emotions is my writing.

I can only hope
that honesty, forgiveness and time
will help these walls to crumble.

© Michele Markley 2009