Once Again Invisible

Standing
with my hand on the doorknob
I pause
listening to the murmur of voices.

I hate this,
the social gathering
the obligation
to make an appearance.

Pushing forward, I enter
and wish I had not
as I’m met with absolute silence
when I step into the room.

I become conscious
of the beating of my heart
pounding fiercely
so that I’m sure it must be visible.

I swallow
the spit in my mouth
which has turned to glue,
eyes darting around.

I look for a familiar face
someone to rescue me.

Nothing,
no one
I am utterly alone
in my hell.

“Close the door!”
Someone yells
from the sea of strange faces
and quickly comply.

This simple task
it seems
has broken the seal
on the vacuum in the room
as the voices once again resume.

And I become
once again
invisible.

Have you become invisible?

© Michele Markley 2009